familial entropy

Hohenschönhausen Memorial

Posted on 24. October 2014 by erdhummel

While I was in Berlin, I wanted to take the chance and visit a museum all by myself again. Although I love visiting museums with children (after all I focused on museum interpretation during my studies), I do appreciate opportunities to concentrate and learn something new just for myself.

I have been to most of the major museums in Berlin, but what I hadn’t managed to see so far was the Hohenschönhausen Memorial. And since I was already staying next to the Berlin Wall (and about to finish “Child of the revolution” by Wolfgang Leonhard), I thought it might be a good occasion to focus on Berlin’s GDR history.

Hohenschönhausen was built as a soup kitchen during the Nazi regime, but turned into a prison as soon as the war ended. After being managed by the Soviets in the post-war period, it was handed over to the GDR at the beginning of the 60ies and acted as the headquarter of the remand centres in the country (run by the Ministry of State Security). The brutal physical interrogations were replaced by a more subtle (but in the end no less brutal) psychological terror. While physical violence was surely not completely abandoned in GDR prisons, the remand centres of the Ministry of State Security are primarily known for their psychological tricks to make you confess things you are not guilty of. One of the main strategies to get a confession was to leave you in the dark about what you have done, where you are and how long you will stay there. Another strategy was, as weird as it sounds, complete boredom. If you don’t know where you are and what you have done and if you are then left in a cell with just a bed and a bucket and you don’t see or talk to anybody for three or four weeks you get desperate not to end up in the cell again for another undefined amount of time.

And we are not talking about murderers, rapists or other criminals here. The remand centre was for people acting suspiciously – as the Minister of State Security said: “Enemy is the one thinking differently”. By the way, when was the last time you criticized your government or your employer?

You can only visit Hohenschönhausen as part of a guided tour, and the tour guides are all former inmates of the prison. My guide had an incredibly good way to explain the word-twisting and the knock-out arguments of the State Security which left the inmates with almost no chance to be discharged (the lawyers were not a big help either as they needed a permission to practice their job and guess what…this permission was only granted by the ministry). He also explained very well how the State Security made you feel – starting from the uneasy feeling when you were suddenly pushed into a dark car and the angst you felt when, after 20 minutes adjusting to complete darkness, you arrived in a room fully lightened with neon lamps which felt like someone spread salt into your eyes. And the frustration and rage you felt when you hadn’t slept for several nights (because you weren’t able to remain in the mandated sleeping position and the guard reminded you of it every time you moved in your sleep) and when the three interrogators were then taking turns to ask you about the first name of your aunt (and your uncle…and your sister…and your own name…) over and over and over again. And how tempting it felt to agree to leave the prison with the only requirement to occasionally provide the State Security with some information about your neighbours…

And although he as a former inmate probably doesn’t have much sympathy left for the guards, he did not forget to raise attention to the fact that the interrogations were always done by three persons at the same time so that complete control was granted and no one gave in due to doubts or pity.

A blog entry does not provide enough space to describe the routine and the tactics at Hohenschönhausen appropriately and in detail, but the visit of the Memorial left me quite gloomy and pensively. It’s a very recommendable memorial and if you ever have the chance, you should go there and experience it for yourself. It was also the only museum so far where I experienced an actually excited discussion of the group (and the guide) afterwards. Sometimes it’s not too bad to visit a place that puts some things into a proper perspective again!

Posted in Germany, Serious thoughts, Travel | Tagged Berlin, DDR, GDR, Hohenschönhausen Memorial, memorial, Stasi, State Security | Leave a comment

weekend of independence

Posted on 22. October 2014 by erdhummel

It has been quiet on this blog for the last few days….which was due to my beloved husband who holds a very strong sense of justice.

You see, he will be at a conference in the United States in November, followed by some free days in California, followed by a workshop in Great Britain. He will be gone for three weeks and although he always misses me and the little one, I know he also greatly appreciates the undisturbed nights and the change of scenery. Since he is the bestest of all husbands, his sense of justice told him to grant me a few undisturbed nights and a change of scenery as well (three cheers for the justice!!) so I spent the last weekend in Berlin, visiting a dear friend of mine.

It was, I admit it, kind of a challenge. It was the first time for the little one without her mother and I was a bit worried that she wouldn’t take it well. However, she hasn’t been particularly clingy so far (on the contrary, she loves to cuddle up with all our friends…) and Karsten planned to spend the weekend at his parents place, so I left on Friday feeling slightly sad but also incredibly excited in the light of this completely free weekend.

What shall I say…it was absolutely great. I truly missed my family, but at the same side I very much enjoyed these days of independence without time pressure or a buggy to push around. I enjoyed it even more when I heard that the little one was having a grand weekend as well, being on cloud nine due to all the attention of her grandparents.

Apart from spending a lot of time with my friend and her three month old baby (we hadn’t seen each other for a few years) I really loved walking around the city noticing the differences between Zurich and Berlin. Believe it or not, there are leaves on the streets of Berlin. Plenty of leaves! The city is dirty, smelly and there is graffiti everywhere. While you put on your fancy sunglasses when you are in Zurich, you can wear your worn-out shoes in Berlin without feeling underdressed. There are so many different types of people. When you look at the other people in the train you’ll see an old grandmother next to a homeless person next to an Indian mother with three children next to a girl in black with bright red lipstick next to a guy with long beard and green hair next to a man in a suit. It’s fascinating. You hear people playing music in almost every underground station in the city centre. You get a Döner for 2.50 Euro. You still find occupied houses in the city centre (though there are only a few left). The people have a much more very casual way of talking (one might even say flippant) – but since I don’t stand out due to my German accent I can easily adjust and join in. The trains are running every 4 or 5 minutes. And they are twice as crowded at night than during the day.

Since I know Berlin back from my time at university I abstained from the main tourist attractions. I stayed near the Berlin wall, walked around Prenzlauer Berg and Friedrichshain, visited the flea market at Mauerpark, saw a movie and went to the Hohenschönhausen memorial. It was good!!

Now I am glad to be back in Switzerland. In the small town where my girl can go outside and start running and playing without a high risk of getting lost in the crowd or hit by a car. With a forest nearby. With a low risk of stepping into dog shit or meeting youngsters smoking hash on the playground (here they smoke it at the bike stand next to the catholic church…). With our garden behind the house. With empty streets during the night. And with my beloved daughter and husband cuddling up with me in the morning.

Posted in Germany, small but significant differences, Travel | Tagged Berlin, Berlin Wall, weekend | Leave a comment

Beware of earthworms!

Posted on 16. October 2014 by erdhummel

Yesterday evening I had another meeting of the building committee to discuss the new design of our neighbourhood. As you might have noticed, trees have been a central point of discussion so far, with me vehemently defending them and many others vehemently highlighting the “dirt” they produce (also known as leaves, fruits and pollen). Generally, leaves don’t seem to be too welcome here in Switzerland, as I experienced at the beginning of the week. I still don’t really understand how a country in which almost every Swiss person escapes to the mountains and the outdoors every weekend, how such a country can be so obsessed with leaves on the ground (and English lawn in generally…seriously, even in England the English lawn isn’t as perfect as in a Swiss town!)

To make matters worse, certain stereotypes seem to be correct and there appears to be a fundamental difference regarding the way how Swiss and German people communicate. Swiss people are often known for there distinguished and convoluted way of saying things, whereas Germans apparently prefer to just say what they think. And while I am not a big friend of such stereotypes, I find it very hard indeed to sit and listen to endless discussions that could be ticked off within 5 minutes.

Those two things – the trees and the communication – make the committee meetings both interesting and nerve-wracking for me. Yesterday was no exception. Here are a few highlights from the evening:

The discussion about the new parking lot in front of the building. The pavement will be renewed which raises the fundamental problem whether the parking spots should be arranged straight or slightly angular. If you are not sure what people could possibly discuss about it: with straight parking spots you might need one maneuver more than with slightly angular spots. Which might disturb the tenants if cars are coming back late at night (we are talking about approximately 5 parking spots). But with angular spots the parking area will be decreased by 1.5 meters. The discussion lasted half an hour! After 15 minutes I started drawing. The conclusion made me sit up again: we shall all drive to a large, neutral space, draw both straight and angular parking spots on the ground and test if you really need more maneuvers with straight spots! I spontaneously offered to document the whole process with my camera so we can include it in our annual report.

The trees. Again! Last time we agreed to consider Japanese flowering cherries for the playground. All other trees had been excluded already because they either produce too much pollen or too many small leaves or they grow too big. This time, the flowering cherries were excluded too. Because they flower in spring (unbelievable, I know) and that means thousands of petals on the ground. Gnnnnnagh!! This was the point I decided to enter the discussion. What I wanted to say in my German bluntness was “What’s the freaking problem of petals on the grass???”. What I was actually saying was something like “Please, could you be so kind and elaborate the consequences of petals on the grass so we know what to deal with?” (it’s called diplomacy. I am still working on it). I also mentioned very politely that we already have something called playground duty which means that the playground is cleaned and swept every week by one of the families with children. Finally, I asked about how many weeks of flower petals we are talking. Turns out, we are talking about 3-4 days each year when the cherries lose their petals. And there are no dreadful consequences of petals on grass. But they might create stains on the playground toys!

Despite my very diplomatic input, Japanese flowering cherries were excluded from the project. The final solution was pragmatic and simple. Since all possible trees had been excluded, the committee decided to plant big trees anyway (maple trees are considered) and if they grow to big after 30 or 40 years, we will simply cut them off again. There you go!

My absolute highlight of the evening though was the small talk with which I was greeted at the beginning of the meeting. I am still giggling at the thought of it.

Person: “And, are you enjoying autumn?”

Me: “Yes, I do, thank you!”

Person (with a deep sigh): “Mmmh. But there are quite a lot of leaves, aren’t there?”

Me (with a trustful smile): “Yes, it’s great, isn’t it?”

Person: “And the earthworms are so active at this time of the year! Every time you walk over a meadow your shoes get smudgy!”

…the earthworms. Oh boy! Whole new perspectives on autumn suddenly opened up!

Posted in small but significant differences, Switzerland | Tagged autumn, earthworms, stereotypes, trees | 5 Comments

short chestnut interlude

Posted on 14. October 2014 by erdhummel

Finally! After numerous autumn walks with the little one I found it!

May I present the one and only chestnut tree of our town:

I am not kidding – it is indeed the only white chestnut to be found here! Maybe that’s why it looks particularly grand. It also looks surprisingly healthy. I think it must be the first chestnut tree I saw in years without leaf-miner-moths (and I think I remember an article from last year in our local newspaper about vaccinating the one and only chestnut tree).

But not only the discovery of said tree was glorious, no, there even were hundreds of chestnuts lying around which the little one immediately started to collect (she has a wee basket that she carries around proudly in order to have a place for all the leafs, walnuts, stones and cones she finds). Seriously, where were the children? You would expect that a chestnut tree (the only chestnut tree in town) is visited hourly by children collecting chestnuts. Or is that not a thing anymore?

To top it all, the ground was covered with leaves! In a country were all the leaves are meticulously blown away every second day, we finally enjoyed the swish swish swish of autumn.

It was almost too good to be true! I made a mental note to come back tomorrow for more autumn pleasure.

When we left I took a last picture of the chestnut tree. Then we heard the loud noise of a big vehicle. A cleaning vehicle. Which, within minutes, cleared the ground from all leaves and chestnuts. Welcome back to reality.

Posted in Switzerland, the little one | Tagged autumn, chestnut, trees | 4 Comments

this moment

Posted on 10. October 2014 by erdhummel

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment to pause, savor and remember. Inspired by SouleMama.

Posted in Family, this moment | 2 Comments

hide and seek

Posted on 8. October 2014 by erdhummel

This morning when I wanted to go shopping I couldn’t find my cellphone. I knew that the little one had been playing with it earlier, acting as if one of her grandmothers was on the phone, but unfortunately I didn’t see where she put it once her phone call was finished. While I am known for not answering the phone because I normally let it lie around somewhere on silent mode (I do have an aversion regarding people checking their cellphone too often…), I am somehow dependent on it as we don’t have a landline.

The fact that the little one loves to play with our cellphones still creates ambivalent feelings. A couple of years ago my sister announced that she had a new cellphone because my niece had been playing with the old one and hid it somewhere untraceable. My first thought at that time was “well, just don’t let your toddler play with valuable things“. My first thoughts now are “well, she will grow up with technology anyway, so why not teach her to be attentive with it” followed by “there is almost no space left in the flat that she can’t reach anyway and that space (on the top shelves) is already occupied by other stuff“.

Searching for my cellphone almost resembled the work of a special police unit clearing a flat. A tidy and meticulous action is required in such a case! And it brilliantly showed how life will change with a toddler.

Two years ago, I would have searched following spots for my cellphone:

– my bag

– my other bag

– my desk

– the table

– the pockets of my jacket

Today, I skipped searching there and went right to the obvious places:

– the garbage bin

– the toilet

– the box with Karsten’s bike equipment

– the drawer in the bathroom (I only checked there because I saw her putting my cellphone inside that drawer a few days earlier and I thought that this is a place where I definitely wouldn’t expect it to be!)

– under the bed (socks, earplugs, toy blocks, tissues and a toy car found instead)

– inside the shoes (you laugh, but that’s where my sister found her cellphone half a year later…inside one of the winter boots)

– the drawer with the baking pots

– between my underwear

plus, I checked the grass below our balcony…

In the end, I found it in her cuddly corner. A sheep called Olli was sitting on it.

Posted in Children, the little one | Tagged cell phone, hide and seek, toddler | 4 Comments

weekend bits and pieces

Posted on 6. October 2014 by erdhummel

Another lovely autumn weekend lies behind us and I haven’t had much time to blog during the last days. One got to enjoy those days, you know?

3023 (…greetings from the little one)

Here are a few bits and pieces to keep you updated:

Friday evening was dominated by me rocking the kitchen. Good friends of ours decided to redeem their wedding gift – a day in the high ropes course at Schaffhausen, completed by a kick-ass picnic basket. So we were busy preparing a giant picnic, lovingly prepared with little notes and quotes and a lot of fun (try to come up with a proper note that links cheese and marriage, then you’ll know what I mean…).

Saturday morning mainly involved the finish of said picnic basket. The little one took care of the timing and decided to start the day at 5:45am – heaven forbid, I would have slept an hour longer otherwise and would not have been able to finish everything….(sigh). Later that day we went to the zoo, returned with a very tired toddler who was too excited to do a lunch nap but revived as soon as she saw her friends on the playground. End of the day: vegetable roast, sweet chestnut liqueur and board games.

On Sunday, my parents-in-law visited us for onion tarte and Federweißer and a walk in the woods. Originally, we wanted to visit a park with some local animals but somehow ended up at the wrong place. Never mind, we walked a forest trail for children and learned a lot of fun facts (do you know what a humming stone is? or that trees transmit knocking sounds within their trunks which the receiver at the other end of the trunk can hear much louder and clearer than the sender? and that Karsten can jump as far as a deer?)

Good times indeed!

Posted in Family, the little one | Tagged picnic, Sihlwald, weekend | Leave a comment

late autumn garden

Posted on 2. October 2014 by erdhummel

Since the beginning of August I have been ignoring the fact that I can buy gingerbread at the supermarket. Why would you skip autumn and jump right to the christmas time? Autumn is, after all, one of my favorite seasons which I am always enjoying with all my senses (aaah, the smell of the forest in autumn…).

However, every time I visit our garden I notice small reminders that the end of the gardening season is coming. Many of our neighbours have been busy cleaning and preparing the beds for winter as most of the vegetables are harvested by now. There weren’t as many vegetables to harvest anyway due to the very rainy summer. Our zucchini decided to gently wither and die. The red cabbage is waiting to be pickled (actually, it’s not the cabbage who is waiting…it’s me. I still have to figure out how to pickle it). There is still mangold, beetroot and some salad there. And two pumpkins which I am tending with the hope that they will still grow a little bit bigger (the other pumpkins are already harvested). Some of the strawberries undergo a second season. The little one and I planted some garlic last week. And the spinach just started to grow.

Every time I am there, I tidy up a little bit. Prepare for winter. Because even if I can ignore the gingerbread just a little bit longer, I like to get the garden done. It feels good, like a proper change of the seasons (something I am much more aware of since we have this garden)! And it’s already so much fun to plan the next year!

Late autumn garden…

…some flowers are still there (though I hoped for more)…

Still hoping for that pumpkin to grow!

blooming fennel

Last hope for that pumpkin is gone…

late salad

late strawberries

blooming dill

mangold

slugsuffering red cabbage (and the little one munching strawberries)

Posted in Garden, Switzerland | Tagged autumn, garden, harvest, seasons | Leave a comment

trees or no trees?

Posted on 30. September 2014 by erdhummel

Trees! I love trees!

Trees are beautiful, trees are patient, trees are sublime. What better spot is there for an afternoon nap than under a tree, watching the leafy canopy and the sunbeams and listening to the light swooshing of the leafs while doozing off? What better way is there to calm down and take a deep breath than wandering through a forest? Trees are one of the most amazing things the earth has to offer.

But somehow, this love of trees does not seem to be shared by everyone. The sad thing about growing up is that you are suddenly aware of dreadful things called planning and politics and sometimes the feeling of helplessness regarding decisions that are made around you. Planning and politics in our neighbourhood mainly involves cutting trees, I feel. Last year, when we moved in, I was sitting on the balcony, drinking a cup of tea and enjoying a beautiful spring day. I was particularly enjoying the view of two or three beautiful apple trees which were in full bloom. Until I heard the sound of a chainsaw and within seconds those apple trees were gone. Which caused me breaking into tears. There were probably some late-pregnancy hormones involved in those tears too, but it was just shocking to see these trees being cut down within a few moments. The reason, by the way, was because they were on a paddock (now, one year later, the farmer is dead and the horses are sold).

Later that year, we went away for a weekend and when we returned two big trees around our house were suddenly gone. None of us was informed beforehand, although it’s a housing cooperative and we theoretically own a small part of it as long as we live here.

Beginning of this year, the big pine tree next to the kindergarten in our street was cut because the building is being renewed and there is no space anymore for big trees.

Since spring, I am a representative in the committee regarding the changes of the estate around our building (which has caused me a lot of grey hairs by now). Changes apparently need to be made in order to make the building more attractive for future tenants. Guess what “making it attractive” involves…of course, cutting more trees. I can understand the decision to cut the big tree next to the playground – it’s ill and since it’s quite tall there’s the danger of it falling onto the buildings during the next storm. But a few months ago, it was suddenly decided to cut the big old birch tree as well. It is such a beautiful tree, old and snaggy, perfect for climbing and sitting underneath it. But part of it is standing on the basement garage (this is were they lost me during the committee meeting. How can that suddenly be a problem – the tree didn’t pop out of the ground yesterday, did it?). The fact that I know own the nickname “madame birch” gives you an impression about how seriously I tried to convince them to abandon the plan…Well, turns out I don’t have a right of co determination in the committee. As representative of the tenants I am just supposed to…well…represent. Mhmpf.

However, I convinced the executive board to plant a new tree which doesn’t stand on the basement garage. There are three or four new trees supposed to be planted on the playground. During the last meeting we started to think about the type of tree. The president is in favour of trees which don’t grow higher than 4 meters (this is where they lost me again…4 meters? Are we talking about Bonsais?). Also, the trees shouldn’t make too much dirt. Birches apparently produce a lot of “dirt” (if you feel lost too: the executive board uses “dirt” as an equivalent for “leafs”). If you live in a world where people run around with leaf blowers every second day to make sure there are absolutely no autumn leafs on the ground, it can indeed result in a lot of work! So the plan is to plant small trees without leafs? I am still working on this…I started to practice friendly smalltalk with the garden planner so I will infiltrate the idea that the new trees should be as big as possible.

And why am I writing about it now? Because while I am typing these lines, the tree with the nice red autumn berries is being cut right outside our balcony. Were we informed about it? No. Is it standing on a basement garage? No. Is it ill? No. Is it too tall? No.

Well, I guess it’s producing too much dirt…

Posted in Miscellaneous | Tagged nature, trees | 8 Comments

Seven days, seven pictures

Posted on 28. September 2014 by erdhummel

It’s Sunday again and since it has been a beautiful autumn week I thought I’ll do another weekly review in pictures. The little one is busy collecting leafs and acorns (sadly I haven’t found any chestnuts around here so far). Karsten was delighted to join a stargazing trip on Friday about which he wrote in the previous post. And I am happily doing some gardening with the little one’s help. And some baking. And some photo archiving.

Happy Sunday evening everyone!