One might have noticed that I didn’t post as many blog articles during the last weeks as usual and I apologize for it. It’s not because there are no things to write about – on the contrary, there are quite a few posts which I started and then abandoned in my draft section. It’s not because there is no time to post – although time is scarce these days there is often time left that I could use for writing.
Maybe it’s because I am not sure for who I am actually writing this blog. I started it to keep our friends updated and to record our life a little bit. In the past I used to have a diary which I used more or less regularly (mostly less). Keeping up to date with everyone from our families and our circle of friends AND writing a diary is too much, then I would not have any time left for all the other things that a family requires. But the fact is: it would be much more comfortable for me to write in German. I like the challenge of writing in English but I would use a completely different way of writing in my mother tongue. Writing in English doesn’t really feel like myself. We have, however, many friends who don’t speak German and although I don’t actually know who is reading this blog I do know that there are at least two or three of our friends who are happy to follow us via this channel. So what shall I do? Switching to German doesn’t seem a good idea because I still want to keep these said friends up to date. A second blog would be complete nonsense. How about writing some of the posts in both English and German? But will I find the time to write bilingual articles?
Another reason for a slow blogging these days is because I feel my batteries are running a bit low. There have been more and more days which I start with a headache and my level of coffee consumption is slowly but steadily rising. On some days I would love to wear a noise protection headset. This morning, for instance. Both children screaming and I hadn’t even had a coffee at that time. Our neighbourhood got a perfect show how not to deal with the terrible two’s (I lost my temper and joined in with the screaming…something I am not proud of and that doesn’t happen too often, but sometimes my brain just fails). Seriously, I think I have never had to be more patient in my life than since having children. And although I feel that my level of patience has been rising surprisingly much during the last years there are days when there is simply no patience left. Funnily enough I tend to get flashbacks when I am at that point. I walk around the village trying to think of something else and then out of the sudden I remember of situations during my studies or during my school time. Last week at the gym Bongo Bong was aired on the radio and I almost bursted into tears because I was remembered of a very cool Halloween party with many smirfs. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to exchange my children for anything in the world! Never! I am incredibly glad and thankful for having such a great family! But gee, do you remember the times when you didn’t have to go to bed at ten pm because you know you could sleep as long as you want in the morning? Or a day when you didn’t have to tidy up after someone? I think I need to find a way to reload my batteries again (not necessarily with smirfs though).
Moreover, I am getting a little melancholic because we still don’t know where we’ll end up during the summer. And we won’t know for sure until June. But it looks like we’ll have to move either way. It wouldn’t be too bad if it would just be Karsten and myself. It wouldn’t even be that bad if it would just be Karsten, myself and a baby. But watching the little one playing with her friends and establishing her childhood here makes me incredibly sad. We started to be outside again and she is having so much fun in the garden and on the playground. But there is always this little reminder in my head that says “We’ll have to say goodbye soon!” Explaining to her why she won’t be able to play with her friends anymore will probably one of the hardest things this summer.But maybe it’s just me for whom it’s so hard and maybe she’ll take it much better than expected. Who knows.
Anyhow, enough with the moaning or I might as well start living in a deserted girl’s bathroom. But now you know why I haven’t written much during the last weeks. I’ll try to change it again soon.
familial entropy 
Oh dear, that’s a bit of a sad mood you’re in right now… as you told me in your sweet email that I didn’t forget I would love to answer back as soon as possible but you know, time flies etc… 🙂
For the first interrogations you have about your blog, I must say that I always thought that it is truly courageous (and brilliantly done!) to write it in English. I always considered myself just unable to do so. Or it will at least cut down a lot of the topics I would be able to talk about… So “bravo” for that. And obviously I must say that in a totally selfishly way of thinking, I would be rather disappointed if you decided to stop writing in English as, as you know, my skills in German as really really close to zero… And it’s finally lovely to see that it’s been almost a year now that we didn’t see each other but anyhow we managed to keep in touch and I am happy to be able to picture your everyday lifetime, thanks to the blog.
Anyways, regarding your fear for the little one’s future adjustment, I am quite persuaded that kids are really a lot more adaptable and flexible than we are. It will not take off your sadness to leave all your friends and lovely environment (and I totally understand that) but I am 100% sure that everything will be perfectly fine for the little one even in a whole new place and people, provided the fact that she will be surrounded by her loving parents and little brother. It doesn’t mean that she won’t be sad, but I’m sure that she will be happy in your future place, no matter where it is. The loving, reassuring, and happy presence of her family is the only essential. To me anyways.
Cheer up my dear friend, I understand that theses unreliable future months won’t be a piece of cake, but let see the bright shine of the medal.
Deep thoughts and big hugs to you 4, from us 4 and… 🙂
Thank you so much for your long and lovely response and the reassuring words!! You guys are indeed one of the reasons why I’d like to continue in English (I love seeing the little Finnish flag in my statistics :-)). Maybe I’ll try a dual version for a while, I’ll see. As for the future – I am practicising a little zen and try to get as relaxed as you 😉 Big hugs from Switzerland!!
Ich gestehe, es ist tatsächlich das Englisch, das mich davon abhält, deinen Blog regelmässig zu lesen. (Also Englisch ist natürlich an sich kein Problem, aber es ist so anstrengend, den ganzen Tag in Fremdsprachen kommunizieren zu müssen, dass ich sowas wie Bloglesen nicht auch noch in einer Fremdsprache machen möchte.)
Dabei finde ich deinen Blog wunderbar! Und jetzt habe ich wegen dieser blöden Sprachphobie sogar die tollen Babyneuigkeiten verpasst… Herzlichen Glückwunsch (viel, viel, viel zu spät)! Und viel Sisu und gute Gedanken für die kommende Zeit! (Es ist wie es ist, und man macht es sowieso immer falsch: jahrelang haben wir uns die Ferien freigenommen, damit die Kinder nicht in einen anderen Kindergarten gehen müssen – und was werfen sie uns dann vor? “Nie durften wir in den Ferien in einen anderen Kindergarten gehen!” 😉 )
Danke für die Glückwünsche 🙂 Mir geht es ja auch so, dass ich viele Sachen so gerne auf Deutsch schreiben würde, weil ich mich so einfach viel schneller und passender ausdrücken könnte. Aber Ursprungsidee war halt, dass die englischen Freunde auf dem Laufenden bleiben…Bei uns steht übrigens lustigerweise im Juni die Entscheidung an, ob wir für zwei Jahre nach Turku gehen. Wir waren ja vor zwei Jahren schon für ein paar Monate dort und evtl klappt es mit einer Postdoc-Stelle. Chancen stehen ca 50/50. Ich hoffe, bis dahin ist noch nicht der ganze Wald abgeholzt…..
Das hoffe ich auch!!!
Und soll ich Daumen drücken? Oder gäbe es eine Alternative zu Turku, die euch lieber wäre? Ich fänd’s toll – und wenn ihr tatsächlich herkommt, dann verabreden wir uns diesmal gleich, statt dann hinterher festzustellen, dass wir vermutlich mehrmals zur gleichen Zeit im “Agricola” waren…! 🙂
Das machen wir 🙂 Turku wäre eine super Option, obwohl es uns schwer fallen wird hier wegzugehen. Aber zum Hierbleiben fehlen momentan die Stellenangebote…Und Turku hat uns damals extrem gut gefallen!
Dann drücken wir alle Daumen. Wir haben immerhin 10 davon in der Familie!
Und du sollst natürlich nicht wegen mir deine Blogsprache ändern! 🙂
Ne, aber dann würde meine Mutter auch mehr verstehen 🙂