One might have noticed that I didn’t post as many blog articles during the last weeks as usual and I apologize for it. It’s not because there are no things to write about – on the contrary, there are quite a few posts which I started and then abandoned in my draft section. It’s not because there is no time to post – although time is scarce these days there is often time left that I could use for writing.
Maybe it’s because I am not sure for who I am actually writing this blog. I started it to keep our friends updated and to record our life a little bit. In the past I used to have a diary which I used more or less regularly (mostly less). Keeping up to date with everyone from our families and our circle of friends AND writing a diary is too much, then I would not have any time left for all the other things that a family requires. But the fact is: it would be much more comfortable for me to write in German. I like the challenge of writing in English but I would use a completely different way of writing in my mother tongue. Writing in English doesn’t really feel like myself. We have, however, many friends who don’t speak German and although I don’t actually know who is reading this blog I do know that there are at least two or three of our friends who are happy to follow us via this channel. So what shall I do? Switching to German doesn’t seem a good idea because I still want to keep these said friends up to date. A second blog would be complete nonsense. How about writing some of the posts in both English and German? But will I find the time to write bilingual articles?
Another reason for a slow blogging these days is because I feel my batteries are running a bit low. There have been more and more days which I start with a headache and my level of coffee consumption is slowly but steadily rising. On some days I would love to wear a noise protection headset. This morning, for instance. Both children screaming and I hadn’t even had a coffee at that time. Our neighbourhood got a perfect show how not to deal with the terrible two’s (I lost my temper and joined in with the screaming…something I am not proud of and that doesn’t happen too often, but sometimes my brain just fails). Seriously, I think I have never had to be more patient in my life than since having children. And although I feel that my level of patience has been rising surprisingly much during the last years there are days when there is simply no patience left. Funnily enough I tend to get flashbacks when I am at that point. I walk around the village trying to think of something else and then out of the sudden I remember of situations during my studies or during my school time. Last week at the gym Bongo Bong was aired on the radio and I almost bursted into tears because I was remembered of a very cool Halloween party with many smirfs. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to exchange my children for anything in the world! Never! I am incredibly glad and thankful for having such a great family! But gee, do you remember the times when you didn’t have to go to bed at ten pm because you know you could sleep as long as you want in the morning? Or a day when you didn’t have to tidy up after someone? I think I need to find a way to reload my batteries again (not necessarily with smirfs though).
Moreover, I am getting a little melancholic because we still don’t know where we’ll end up during the summer. And we won’t know for sure until June. But it looks like we’ll have to move either way. It wouldn’t be too bad if it would just be Karsten and myself. It wouldn’t even be that bad if it would just be Karsten, myself and a baby. But watching the little one playing with her friends and establishing her childhood here makes me incredibly sad. We started to be outside again and she is having so much fun in the garden and on the playground. But there is always this little reminder in my head that says “We’ll have to say goodbye soon!” Explaining to her why she won’t be able to play with her friends anymore will probably one of the hardest things this summer.But maybe it’s just me for whom it’s so hard and maybe she’ll take it much better than expected. Who knows.
Anyhow, enough with the moaning or I might as well start living in a deserted girl’s bathroom. But now you know why I haven’t written much during the last weeks. I’ll try to change it again soon.